If I had to describe motherhood to someone who hasn’t had a child yet, it’s like…. Your worst hangover, and your most intense feeling of falling in love, all happening at the same time. That’s how it felt for me anyway.
I have been very candid about the fact that motherhood has been hard for me and not what I expected at all. I always knew that I wanted to be a mom, and it’s something I want to be good at so badly. What I didn’t account for was how difficult the juggle of being an employee, wife, and mom would be.
For those of us who don’t have family nearby, we need to rely on hired help, and with that comes a lot of guilt. I want my child to be raised by her parents and her family, not by a nanny if that makes sense? However, having said that, I wouldn’t be able to do anything without Mila’s nanny, Elisa. She’s my biggest blessing, my right-hand woman, and Mila’s bestie.
Anyway, this is not what I came here to talk about. The point of this post is that as a new mom, I complained a lot about the struggles I went through, and while it is hard, I wanted to talk about some of my favourite things about being Mila’s mom:
- Every day she changes – every day she looks a little different, gets a little bigger, and does something new. She’s my biggest blessing, and being able to raise this little girl is my biggest privilege. I’ll always be grateful for this.
- She copies everything I do. Little seemingly unimportant things, are teaching her how to become a human. I cleared my throat the other day and now she smiles and clears her throat, it’s the cutest thing!
- When her little face smiles at me, gives me kisses, and pulls me close – especially after a hard day where we’ve fought a lot – I always think to myself, ‘oh, thank goodness, she still likes me’.
- The way she will bring me one of her shoes and then lift her foot so I can put it on for her she has a thing for shoes.
- When Mila wakes up in the middle of the night and calls for me, I can’t help but feel blessed.
- Her unpredictable behaviour – every day is a new adventure.
- The way she will say something and if I don’t understand what she’s saying and ask her to repeat herself, she frowns and starts tapping her head like I’m dumb… it’s not great but hilarious to see sometimes.
- When she walks around the house calling ‘mama’, and then bangs on the bedroom door where she knows I’m working.
- I love that I was able to create and be a part of my own little family.
- Making up stories, songs, and reading to Mila – seeing those tiny fingers point to what I’m showing her.
- Feeling those little arms wrap around your neck.
- The energy in my house. We are always busy and things are always moving. I don’t know what it means to have a clean, organised, quiet house anymore. My life is in shambles, in the best possible way, and I love it
- Playing in the pool, going grocery shopping, traveling – she makes my life so much more colourful and so much fun
- If I leave the house and come back, hearing that small voice say ‘Mama, dada’ my heart can’t handle the love I feel for this child.
- The complete selfless, unconditional love that I feel for Mila. Nothing in this world could make me not love her, and be there for her.
- How cheeky Mila is. She’s only 14 months old, but the sass…. She’s already there sis.
- Having a personal assistant unroll and pass me toilet paper daily. I can count how many times I’ve been to the loo alone this year, but I somewhat can’t imagine not having an audience anymore.
- The bond I have with my child.
- I get out so much more now and life is an adventure – trips to the nursery, kiddies restaurants, the Monte bird park, everything is exciting and new.
- Getting to know her. Her personality, her likes and dislikes, her mannerisms. She’s absolute perfection.
- Getting her to sleep at night and thanking G-d for the life I get to live. I know how blessed I am.
- The way I love her father more, for being a good dad.
- I love how there are always snacks in the house for Mila, but I never have anything for the mom and dad
- Seeing Mila interact with her nanny and her dad. She’s just the most special person.
- Watching what she does, how she problem-solves, and how she imitates sounds.
- The silly nicknames I give her and the nonsense we talk about all day long.
- Shopping for anything for her – food, clothes, toys – it brings me so much joy. Take all my money, I don’t care.
- Knowing that some water, germaline, and a kiss can make a graze feel better
- Having Mila makes all other aspects of my life seem less relevant – nothing else matters. It’s just her, her health, her happiness, and her development.
- Watching her confidence in herself grow, from sitting to crawling, standing, walking, running, stamping her feet, and kicking a ball. This child amazes me every day…
I know that there are a million and one other things that I love about Mila and being her mom, but these are just a few of my favourite things that I can think of tonight, I love you Mila and I love being your mama.