In my previous blog post, I talked about how I saw another gynae at 36 weeks because my gynae was away, that was on a Wednesday. My gynae’s office asked that I come in on Saturday (3 days later) when my doctor was back. I knew he was worried about something, so we came in, his office was locked and a few minutes later my doctor arrived, with his two little girls in tow.
We did the sonar and he said that the baby was corded and wasn’t getting enough oxygen. She was also very small, around 2,4kgs. But he said to me that I needed to come back to the hospital that night and that he was going to perform an emergency c-section at 05h00 the next morning. I was 37 weeks and 3 days and was not ready. I thought I would have at least another week before she came. I was so scared and pleaded with the doctor to keep her in for longer, just a few more days.
I remember saying to him, if she’s born on Sunday, she will be a Leo, but if she comes on Wednesday she will be a Virgo, so let’s just monitor and see how it goes. to which he responded, you know what, Virgo season starts tonight, so come in tonight and let’s take this baby out, I still protested and said I would come at 04h00 on Sunday morning – he agreed but said I needed to come in because at this stage, the baby had a better chance of surviving outside of my body, rather than staying inside and that I now needed to think of her and let the paeds do what they know how to do, we then discussed the steroids she may need, etc. I was crying, I was so upset. Of course, I only wanted what was best for her but I still felt like I had somehow failed.
Hubby was so supportive, he took me from the doctor’s office for lunch, then to get my nails done, and then for a blowdry. Little did I know, but my life was about to change and that would be the last time I would get to do those things for a little while. Dyl’s mom was staying with us at the time and he took us out for dinner that evening. At what is now my favourite little Italian restaurant Trabella in Parkview.
I remember towards the end of the evening, I started feeling very uneasy, and at around 21h00 I insisted that we needed to go home. My hubby didn’t understand why I was in such a rush, I couldn’t sit still, I said I’ve just peed my pants, I’m sore and uncomfortable, I am having an anxiety attack, I can’t breathe, I just want to go home, repack my hospital bag for the third time, have a bath, be in my own space, and go to bed. which is what we then did.
I didn’t sleep a wink that night, I was so uncomfortable. 04h00 couldn’t come soon enough. I had a lovely shower, I got dressed in all my layers as it was still chilly then and then I insisted on driving us to the hospital.
We then filled out forms, got settled in our room, and then, I didn’t know this but the nurses will ask you to shower again and use their antibacterial pink soap. so all my nice smellies were wasted, pro tip, just shower at the hospital.
we were then taken to the OR, I have never been so nervous in all my life, I thought I might die my heart was beating so fast. I met the anesthetist who was so reassuring, charismatic, and great at what he did. I was nervous when he said he couldn’t numb the spine but that he would push his thumb into my spine to numb it, before injecting me. I have never prayed so much to the universe for strength like I did then and the spinal was totally pain-free (thank goodness), you start to feel pins and needles in your legs almost immediately and get lifted onto the OR bed. I was asked to lift my legs and was a bit concerned that I could still lift one. The doctor did his exam and that’s when he told me that I was in labour and was already 2cm dilated. I suddenly went from feeling nervous to excited, this was the universe’s way of telling me that my baby was meant to come today, she was ready.
Everyone was so great! From the anesthetist to the assistants, I am so blessed to have had the experience I did. I was chatting away and didn’t actually realise that they had already started until I felt a splash of water in my eyes. I closed my eyes and told the anesthetist that the drip was leaking and water was going in my eyes, to which he responded ‘That’s not water, that’s blood’, I was so confused, blood? From where? Whose blood is this? To which he responded that the doctor had started my surgery and when he first cut my tummy he knicked a blood vessel and that’s how the blood shot all the way up, to my face, but everyone was quick to reassure me that everything was fine.
I must be honest I could not feel anything, I could feel pressure, but no pain. I didn’t like it when they pushed on the top of my tummy to get the baby to move downward, but then a few minutes later doctor asked me if I was ready to meet my baby. I was so excited, then I heard the doctors say ‘oooohhhh, bum first’. Mila was born bum first, the cord was wrapped tightly around her neck three times, and then I heard the most magnificent cry! The emotions overwhelmed me, and I could not stop crying. After 37 and a half weeks, my baby was with us. I loved hearing the doctors say wow, that’s loud, there’s nothing wrong with those lungs, she definitely won’t need steroids.
I asked hubby to stay with her at all times, she was soooo small, she only weighed 2,36KG’s at birth, they did their tests and then I heard the paed say to my husband who is an orthopedic surgeon in training (a reg), if he thought she had a club foot – something else I wasn’t expecting. He said, today you are the doctor and I’m a dad. Then I saw him put down the phone and touch her foot and move it and then he said no this is not a club foot, it’s turned inwards because of the way she was sitting when she was breach. Mila did have a little inward foot, which was corrected within 3 days.
What no one prepared me for
One thing that no one prepared me for, was when the doctor pulls the perineum, it pulls on your diaphragm and it feels like you can’t breathe and like someone is sitting on your chest. I was not prepared for that. I slowly said babe, I can’t breathe, I was so scared but I was calm and that was the first time I saw him panic, he said hey, Tam can’t breathe and then they explained what was happening and that it would be over soon. Before long it was over, a 30-minute op that changed my life forever. I was wheeled out of the OR and in recovery we decided to try breastfeeding. Mila latched beautifully, she was like a little baby crocodile, she left hickeys all over my areolas, but once she found the nipple, she never wanted to let go, she drank and drank and drank. I remember thinking, this isn’t so bad….
That was my birthing journey. I was planning for a little Virgo to be born on 1 September, her birthstone was going to be a sapphire and her middle name was going to be a flower, as she was born on Spring day, but instead, my little Leo decided to come roaring onto the scene, on 21 August, her birth stone is a green peridot and she’s absolute perfection. Guys trust your instincts, trust your doctors, and trust the universe.