It’s not all sick notes and free consults
Dating a doctor, that sounds like the headline for the next box office hit doesn’t it? Take it from someone who is dating a doctor it’s not all glamour and champagne, in fact it’s far from. Here are some insights into what it’s like to date a doctor.
Being a doctor is a calling, it’s not for everyone. If you’re doing it for the money, you’re going to hate it. There are 6/7 years of studying involved (if you pass everything first time and if you get in on your first application and don’t need to study something else before-hand). It took Dyllan 7 years because he did one year of chemistry before getting into medicine. Then you become an intern doctor for two years, you should know this means long hours, crappy work and changing rotations every few months. You then do a year of community service, before finally being able to specialise (4+ years of working and studying) again, this is the timeline, if everything goes according to plan.
My boyfriend loves his job, he is so selfless, he was born to help people. Whether its someone who has been shot and needs surgery, a little girl who has fallen off the bunk bed and broken her arm, a woman who needs counselling because she’s picked up an STD from sleeping with her cheating husband, or a neonate born at 27 weeks, fighting for his life to get big and strong so his mommy can hold him outside the incubator. Doctors see it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. They see the power of family members putting aside their feuds and coming together to pray for the ones they love, they see good people pass away, they see the worst that society has to offer, and they see the power of medicine on the daily.
Watching my boyfriend get up at 05h30 every morning, shower, put on his scrubs, to drive to the hospital to do the thing he loves is inspiring. He never complains about the hours, the patients, the lack of supplies. He gets on with it and does everything he can to make other people’s lives easier and to make them feel better. It truly is a gift. People come to hospital at their worst, scared and in pain and you have to be an angel to calm them down, explain what you’re doing and then do everything you can to save their lives.
Watching Dyll do what he loves every day, inspired me to start working for myself and take control of my own destiny. It isn’t an easy job and there have been times where the hours, and the trauma take their toll on him. Mentally, emotionally and physically. As a partner, you need to listen to what isn’t always said so you know when to jump in and help ease the load.
My boyfriend inspires me to be a better person, make more time for others and to take pride in everything I do. He’s an angel.
Get a hobby:
You heard me. If you’re dating a doctor, you’re going to be spending a lot of time alone. If they’re interns, they’re going to have long calls. I sometimes don’t see Dyllan for 48h at a time. I know that when he starts to specialise, he’s going to be working all day and studying all night, so this isn’t about to end any time soon. Find something you enjoy doing alone, for me it’s blogging. I get to create new makeup looks, try new products and share my experiences with my little corner of the internet. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I appreciate the time I do get to spend with him and try make the most of it. Sometimes that means being cuddled up on the couch watching a new series and just being with each other.
Glitz and Glamour:
Dating a doctor isn’t all nights out on the town and lavish gifts. A lot of doctors come with loads of student debt, sometimes up to almost 6 figures of debt. It’s not easy feat to study medicine and a lot of students do not have the financial means to study, so a student loan is their only option. Best believe they’re going to pay off that debt before they start throwing coins your way.
As a precaution, every time your Dr. Bae gets blood in their eye (it happens), or gets stuck by a needle, either from carelessness due to chronic fatigue or from a patient jumping up and making you stick yourself because they’re scared of needles. Your partner is going to have to go on ARV’s as a precaution. This may happen on a regular basis. This medication is going to make them exhausted, they’re going to struggle to keep food down and they’re not going to be their best selves for a little bit. Being a doctor is a selfless job and it comes with little thanks. I know my boyfriend can no longer eat yoghurt, he came to this conclusion after one of his gynae calls. Something about eating yoghurt, then delivering babies and now he can’t eat yoghurt LOL.
Learn his love language:
Most of the guys I’ve dated showed their love by showering me with gifts. Dyllan isn’t like that, it took me a minute to realise that his love language is acts of service. So, he will make me coffee in the morning, run me a bath, take pics of me at events, and make me side tables for valentine’s day, but he isn’t likely going to buy me ANOTHER PAIR of Castello’s for my birthday. I think a lot of doctors may have this love language, once you know how he likes to give and receive love, you’ll see your relationship through a new perspective.
Can you look at this rash?
Be prepared to have your family members, friends and even your colleagues call asking for sick notes, prescriptions or my personal best ‘please look at this rash’. I’m going to say, what he’s too much of a nice guy to say. He cannot give you a diagnosis over the phone, just like your regular GP, he needs to see you in person, see your medical history and then only prescribe medication if he feels it’s appropriate.
He’s not going to give you doctors notes so you can go watch a movie instead of doing your monthly report. These are people that are starting out in their careers and who are trying to build a name for themselves, they sure as heck are not going to compromise their reputation so that you can get a couple days out of the office. Oh, and that rash could be a million different things, so book a session, tell him when it started, what you’re allergic to, what your history is etc before he can diagnose you.
He is so much more than what he does:
While dating a doctor is seen as a status symbol, your partner is so much more than just what he does. Remember that success is not sexually transmitted, so don’t by any means think that his success reflects your success. You didn’t spend 7 years on a campus with a cadaver, learning the ins and outs of the human body. While his job may make him successful in the eyes of society, he is so much more than what he does. I often forget Dyll is a doctor, especially when I’m asking him to carry my bag, take pics of me, dice a butternut or help plant a succulent. To me he’s just Dyllan. The man I fell in love with, the brat that I must share my chuckles with, the guy whose date night restaurant option every chance he getts to decide is SALSA, the man who listens to me vent and then offers plausible solutions to my problems. My boyfriend, my best friend, my partner in life.
I hope this article gave you some key insights into what it’s like to date a doctor. Is this what you thought dating a doctor would be like?